My scarf, your mystery!

I got a lot of nice and positive comments about my head scarf ever since I moved to the states. In California, there's a big mixture of people coming from different origins and religions. So no one really cares about what you wear or how you look. I love it here.

I only get upset and mad at the airport when I'm always RANDOMLY chosen to be searched from top to toe.

Anyways,
today something happened, I don't know if I should take it positively or negatively.

I was standing in a line in a coffee shop about to order my cup of coffee. An old lady was standing in front of me. She turned back and looked at me from top to toe. I didn't care, I looked somewhere else.
Then she looked back again and with no facial expressions she asked: "Do you wear your scarf at home too?!"

I smiled and said: No :)

She asked again: "So you only wear it when you go out?!".

-Yes :)

She gave me a fake smile and made a "Hmmm..." sound!

I didn't know how to react, I wanted to laugh and I wanted to give her a long lecture at the same time about learning how to ask questions properly!

Seriously!!

KingDrums in San Francisco...Brilliant!

My Maid

My maid is too spoiled. I like to be firm and serious when I deal with her. She keeps whining after a long busy day, mostly because of Mariyah and sometimes because of laundry -the never ending story-.

She likes to take advantage of me being too tired after giving a few classes during the week. Especially on Thursdays -after teaching 6 students-. But I don't care about how tired she is. If she ever thought of going to bed before cleaning the kitchen she is promised to have nightmares all night long!

No matter how many times Mariyah dumps her toys and Lego blocks around the house, she has to pick them up and put them in place every single time...

Her excuses are lame most of the times. Sometimes it's her back and other times she just feels she is not in the mood to clean up!!

Some days I let it pass, just because I'm too good to be true. I let her have a break every other day. But she knows the circumstances of such a break! All the work left undone will be accumulated the next day and it becomes more tiring to deal with piles of work around the house.

On one of the weekend days, all the rooms must be cleaned -detailed cleaning-. starting from the kitchen and ending up in the bathroom. Couches must be moved and the fridge must be cleaned too. It's better this way, so we get to enjoy a clean place during the week.

It's not like we live in a big place or something, it's a 2 bedroom apartment! We don't have a lot of visitors and we are only 3 living under the roof...
Still she complains!!

Meet My Maid; Myself!

سلمى Jadal's Beautiful Song

Qwaider's tweet:

@Jeedos There is this amazing song by Jadal http://youtu.be/WBgh21Cc6O8 bitjannin سلمى عيوني بتستنى تشوف عنيك و تتمنى ... العمر كله يا سلمى Apr 23rd

سلمى عالطريق انشاالله

على الله تحبك يا عمو سامر، زي مارية بالزبط

The funny part about this song is that it was shot at the store I worked at as a supervisor when I was still engaged :$

what makes you cry?

Those who know me well know that it's not hard to make me cry.

I'm a sensitive person when it comes to sad stories, memories and when I feel hurt.

This morning I received this video via an e-mail and it's "supposed" to be funny but it made me cry. I looked at it differently and it still makes me feel disturbed whenever I think about it.
My family thought I'm becoming too sensitive these days due to the pregnancy hormones.

Maybe...Who knows?
-----------------------------------------------
Mariyah was having her cereal with black berries this morning when she asked me to play payyooz -Fairouz's- song : "Yalla tnam" for her on my laptop. the scene of a crying baby makes her so emotional, and sometimes it makes her cry...

today, she cried! and she asked me to keep playing it over and over again, and she cried every single time.




--------------------------------------------------
So I decided it's about time to leave this crying mood...I took her on a walk. This time with no stroller. She walked next to me the whole time...sometimes holding my hand and sometimes running around me. she was so excited. touching wet flowers and running after squirrels. The whole time she was naming whatever she saw. It made me feel happy and blessed.

It's about time I update the list of her activities and words -most words are in Arabic, sorry about that!- ;)

[Tuck= truck][kubaka=kahraba][ta3lab=tha3lab][jamous][annab=arnab][zooobeh=bloozeh][battamoon=bantaloon][qitat=qitar][3affout=3asfour][shamt=shams][teyyaya=tayyara]

She asked for fairouz's songs a lot. her favourites are: yalla 3al nawm, watani, tayyara and tik tik tik. I have to sing the first part of "watani" for her at least twice before she goes to bed.

She knows baba's car is Awwwwwwwwdiiii and mama's car is Teyeeetttaaa.

She lifts up her top and points at her belly saying: baby Sammmaaaa.

she counts to ten in both Arabic and English. she insists that 3ashara is Ashoureyyyaaah.

She asks for sourat Al-Nass whenever she hears: Bism Allah.

she knows what 3ammo, aunti, walad, binit and baby are.

When she's upset she says: Balash and No a lot.

when she's bored at home she asks me: Go outsiiiiiiiide!

If she gets mad at her friends she says: Stop iiiiiiiiiiiit!

she says 4 words sentences easily, like: "Baba jeeebi mariyah 3aseeet" -3aseer-.

She dropped her legos on the floor and it was noisy she said: OH MY GOD!

I am not being able to remember more. I will regret this later, but it's OK! I forgive myself, Baby Selma is being jealous, kicking non stop asking me to blog something special about her. She is almost 29 weeks old now and she is the size of a butternut squash! YUM!

I love you both. You girls make me proud!

Who wins?

We had a bet.

If he gets me "something" I have been asking for, for quite sometime

I would start walking -exercising- during this pregnancy..

~yea, this is how lazy I am~

He got it for me and I can't be any happier :)

Now, I walk...every single morning with Mariyah...
It's tiring...but my girl is enjoying it.

I wonder...

who's the real winner?

Jeeej?

Mariyah?

Baby Selma?

Or ME?

;)

How about Shakira?

OK, it's almost 3:30 am and I can't sleep.
She is kicking inside day and night. Non stop.
and not any kind of kicks...

At the age of 28 weeks, she kicks...

as if she's playing the drums with her hands.
as if she's shaking her hip left and right.
as if she's tap dancing...

I was ready for a single kick over here followed by another one right there...but this is a totally different experience.

Sometimes Jeeej sees my belly moving so quick he gets surprised and lifts his eyebrows up high! So imagine how he looks when he actually feels the kicks.

It's Decided...
I am naming her Shakira!

My little boy and little girl.

We didn't win any prize at the arcade last weekend...

But we definitely won nice memories.

Bling Bling, No More!

I guess I can't wear my favourite rings anymore...
non of my rings actually!
And my silver watch too...
I'm 6 months pregnant now, so it's understandable...
What makes me upset though is that I've lost a few weeks of being able to wear them. I just couldn't because of the blisters and cuts on my arms & between my fingers too, due to poison oak.

I'm not THAT upset...

I know I'll get my normal hands and fingers back, sometime soon.

And I can't deny that I'm happy because my hands are finally healing and don't look like alien hands anymore :)

Just stay QUIET!

I always update Jeeej with all what's going on in Jordan, family, friends and the country in general.
Long time ago, the stories used to be funny and used to make him laugh or even smile.
Now, I tell him how my family is still disconnected from the Internet,
How Madina is murdered in the name of "Honor".
How guns are being taken to universities and how a "war" started in Salt.

Then he asks me: "How will we survive if we considered moving to Jordan?"

My answer is: "STAY QUIET & YOU'LL SURVIVE!".

Beg Me, please beg me!

You know how it's like when you're at a wedding or a dancing party. Where a group of people asks someone to join them dancing...but this someone refuses over and over again...and then people start begging him...
and then, once this someone starts, no power on earth would stop him from dancing...
You know what I'm talking about, right?!

The same happened with us and Mariyah last weekend.
She got excited when she saw the rides and kids running happily around. We were supposed to spend the day by the beach -Santa Cruz- but because it was windy and cold we decided to stay by the arcades and rides.

We bought a bunch of tickets and went to the rides suitable for her age...
once she sat down and was buckled, she burst into tears. We had to beg her to stay quiet and try to enjoy, we knew she would, that's why we were patient and insisted to stay!

She enjoyed all the rides...
But the crying part took place

every single time we put her on a ride!

At the end of each ride she fought with us refusing to leave.

We had fun too ;)

Sweet Dessert

Since there is no apple strudel

to eat with vanilla ice cream right now...

I decided to look at the menu's special dessert for the night

instead.
Her sweetness makes me forget about how cranky she was today at the park
when we went on a picnic with some friends...

All kids were playing together while she decided to stay with me,

I know she's still recovering,

so I didn't mind :)

Sweet dreams my sweet sugar honey honey :)

Hopefully baby Selma inside will follow you soon

and stop kicking so I could sleep too!

1 LITTLE difference

In one of the gatherings recently, a new mom to be was sharing everyone her fear of the big change in her life...her life with her husband in particular.
One of the ladies said something everyone agreed on,
she said: "Once you have your baby, both of you will completely forget how life together was before!"

Except for me, I didn't agree with her...but I said nothing. I learnt not to argue with some ladies here. they are older and "wiser" :) Wise enough to get mad at me for having a personal blog and an account on facebook too.

When I met Jeeej online, we talked about all the stuff we'll enjoy together once we meet.
we got engaged one week after we met in person and the fun started. We were in Amman of course and since he had no one else in Amman but me and my family we had so much fun. Not a single day passed by without doing something special.
We went on picnics, to the movies, to the sea, ate out a lot, hiking and mountain climbing and there was always time for ice cream ;)
and even though he started sleeping at my parents, he kept on taking me on dates!
We got married and moved to the states.
We spent the first year travelling, camping, picnicking, hiking and bowling and watched lots and lots of movies and went on dates too.

We got pregnant,
we travelled, hiked, played board games, went to the sea and swam a lot. we did bowling and watched more movies and ate out a lot. Dating didn't stop.

Then Mariyah came...

We kept travelling, kept picnicking, hiking, swimming, started going to the parks for the swings, kept eating out on weekends

Dating became more adventurous and more fun! To the movies

mainly and a cup of coffee and some cheesecakes on the side!
Having a baby didn't change our lifestyle. It made it crazier and a little bit slower. But the fun is still there :)

One change took place though, one BIG change...

What made me think about it was that last night, I was chatting with my friend -newly wed- and she started sending me pictures. Beautiful ones of her and her husband. They looked great, both of them, just like movie stars.

And then it hit me...

the Only change in our life is that we -Jeeej & I- stopped taking pictures together, as a couple!

Mariyah is always...always there...somewhere in between.

This has to be fixed!

4 long years...4 short days!

A couple of weeks ago we were invited to a dinner gathering, welcoming a new family to the area. They came from Jordan. The lady was nice and was feeling nostalgic. Her 2 sons were not enrolled in schools yet so she was feeling bad for them having no friends to play with.
Then she asked each one of us the famous question;

"How long have you been living here?"

When my turn came to answer, I proudly said: "4 Years this Summer". Her only reaction to all answers was "WOW"!

Then I became quiet. The number "4" had a strange echo in my head,
Four long years.

Then I said: ""I remember the first time I met Arab ladies here. It was so hard to believe that they've been living in CA for 5 years and over. For me it sounded like forever! I was always convincing myself that my relation to family and Amman is stronger than theirs. That I won't be able to survive that long away from "home" and that there's no way I would feel content about living here, not even after having kids like they kept telling me""

And then I added: ""I remember how when me and Jeeej came here, I used to refer to my parents' house as "mine and ours". it took me too long to call this home. Jeeej was really patient but later on he made sure I understand that THIS IS HOME, where ever Allah swt wants us to be together is home.""

I became one of those ladies. I feel good about living in CA. I love it. I miss my family so bad and it's hard if a day passes without calling Amman.
I wish I could move back there and live among family but it's easier said than done...until then, I try my best to feel home with Jeeej and Mariyah and soon with Selma insha'Allah.

Today, the 3 of us felt sick, Jeeej took a day off of work.

We spent most of the day in bed and on the couches.

Mariyah was held the whole time, poor baby she is suffering.

I let the time pass by playing old videos for her on my laptop. Videos of her while in Amman. She loved them and asked me to repeat some of them over and over again...
I didn't mind at all. I was enjoying them myself :)
I put her to sleep at 7:15 pm and an hour later she woke up crying, Jeeej ran to her room to check on her. He asked her: "What do you want baby?"

She said: "LAPTOP"!! :)

I always think that living here is easy and smooth until we all get sick together. We find no one but ourselves to take care of each other. It's not easy.

It's the only time I feel that I've been away from Amman for too long, 4 long years.
On other days, these 4 years feel like 4 days, Only!

Too Quiet.

Last Thursday Mariyah entered her cave. She became as quiet as never before. I called my friend and told her how quiet my girl is and she said: "Good for you!" What she didn't know was that it was a scary quietness.
When my father in law called to check on us I told him how Mariyah is acting and he said that she's probably getting sick.

My mom and mother in law had another explanation. They said that since she doesn't have a fever she is only starting to realize that my belly is growing and more attention is given to it, especially when she's trying to sit on it and I make the "ouch" sounds...

Today I emailed my friend and told her how I felt about all that. How selfish was I getting pregnant while Mariyah is still too young to understand what's going on around her...
How I cried in front of Jeeej on our way to the movies last Friday telling him that I can't accept the fact that my baby didn't have "enough" fun being an only child!

He said: " Jealousy is an essential part of her development at this stage of her life and that she'll appreciate a sister once they start playing and enjoying time together!".

Today her crankiness, runny nose and quietness got worse I had to take her to the doctor...
Ear Infection, sore throat and virus rash all over her body :(
She was held and carried all day long with lots of crying. When the doctor saw her she said: "poor Mariyah, she looks miserable"!!

This picture was taken last year around this time...When she got her first ear infection.
I hate this crazy season...crazy moody weather!

Not my babyshower.

The number of pregnant women is increasing here. 9 women I know are having babies this Summer, so a lot of baby showers are taking place these days.
Two ladies have suggested to throw me a party but I told them that I don't want it, I want to make a gathering after I give birth :)
Something different this time.

Last weekend I attended a party and I suggested making the favors.
I don't know the pregnant lady that much but the host is a close friend of mine and I wanted to help her. I made 24 of these and everyone thought they look unique :)

I decorated candle holders, by sticking some blue glittery circles, then I filled them with blue and white crystal balls and a candle in each one. and then a ribbon around each holder.

Yep. she's having a baby boy!
The host filled them with chocolate in silver covers.

Another baby shower is on the way and the host wants me to help her make favors! She loved these but I have a different idea in mind ;)