Inspired and Proud.

Once I saw these flower buttons on flickr, made my Rina, I fell in love.
The idea combined with colors is so refreshing!
When I saw them in her daughter's room last summer I decided I should try making some.

I did it in a different way though.
I sewed the flower shaped buttons together and then tied them on a dry branch.
It was a lot of work, especially tying the flowers around the little weak dead branches,
It made me so nervous and I couldn't wait to get done with it.

I can't imagine what Rina goes through to get done with all the beautiful crafts she creates.

Mariyah loves them, she keeps reminding me that they're hers saying:

"Hada la Mariyaaaaaaaaaaaaah".

P.S: Mama, if you ever see this, please don't ask me to throw it away. I really believe it doesn't have Poison Oak. I didn't get it from these branches I'm positive ;p
Love you!

Children Perfect.

Not when it comes to looks, but all in all I believe that children are perfect!
Just think of the fact that if any kid leaves this world, he'll end up an angel in heaven...That's what perfect means.

I remember when Mariyah started to give me a hard time going to sleep or nap, I used to get so mad I yelled at her a couple of times. Jeeej heard me once and was scared himself! He said something to me I'll always love to hear over and over again.

He simply said: "Mariyah can never do something wrong as long as she's still little. She is a perfect human being. It's your swinging mood that should be adjusted according to hers".

Now, whenever I feel frustrated or tired or even about to explode, I take a deep breath and think of his words and they calm me down. I am dealing with a little person here...A perfect angel.

I'm not a perfect mother, at all. But I try to become better.

I believe that some parents do not deserve to have kids.

Last weekend, we went to "California academy of sciences". It was early in the morning when we arrived, but still the line at the entrance was SO long. It took us sometime til we got inside.
Parents were carrying their kids and some were holding their hands or like we did, pushing strollers.
This woman was walking by her daughter's side -not even 3 years old- when she suddenly realised she doesn't have tickets.
She leaned down and told her little daughter to stay where she is until she comes back. She left her daughter standing alone. She went away where her daughter couldn't see her anymore. She didn't even look back to check on her baby, not even once! We started moving forward and the girl was still standing there. Everyone passing by her was simply shocked of the mom's behaviour. I felt so mad I wanted to yell at the stupid mother. She was too far away from her. She just didn't want to lose her spot or something. She could have asked us to save her place til she gets the tickets. But no! She'd rather leave that girl behind for a few minutes.

I know it didn't take too long for the mother to come back, but I believe it was too long for the girl to wait or maybe disappear...

Let's try our best to keep our kids happy and safe. No matter how stinky they smell at the end of a full day :)

Jordan Orange! Garbage...zbaleh!

This is enough really!
My family has been disconnected from the Internet for more than two weeks now. Their land line is disconnected too!
The first reason given: The construction of the big tunnel near by, all lines were disconnected in that area, all will be fixed after 144 working hours.
LIES!

The second reason given: The cable is stolen!
More lies!

My dad had to go to the company asking to stop their "service". They said: you should pay until the contract duration is over!

But there is NO Internet to pay for, it's been disconnected for more than 2 weeks!

They said: You can't complain unless you're disconnected for 3 months!

WHAT THE HELL is going on?!
This is crap...I hate this!

Go ahead, DANCE!

At some point I decided I'd take any kind of medicine to help me get through this. It's hard to feel this weak. It's hard not to be able to hold Mariyah and play with her. It doesn't feel right when I push her away from my arm if she tries to kiss it thinking that it will help it heal.

And then to the emergency again on a beautiful Sunday. Another boring weekend for all of us. I fell asleep sitting on the bed. The shot they gave me made me drowsy and a little bit high. I cried thinking of how bad this might be on the baby living inside. And then we left.

I called Amman and cried again and then slept forever. My days and nights are for sleeping only. I am blessed I have a 4th sister here living close by, she took Mariyah away from me the whole day today so I could relax.

And Jeeej took a day off to make sure I eat and take pills -Benadryl and antibiotic-.

Life is hard when a whole big body depends on one hand.
I can't wait till this dead skin I have go away and another new one comes to life.

The whole day I was thinking of Mariyah, I missed her so much for the 1st time in my life. She was away for too long!
and then I miss my baby on the way. What was I thinking?

I cried so much thinking of what would happen if I was given a medicine that is bad for her :(

Selma, go ahead baby, dance inside, dance like never before :)

I love my family and friends.
I want to go back to normal life!

KiKi Going KuKu

When I try to put Mariyah to nap,

This is what happens;

- The home and cell phones start ringing.

- Neighbours start slamming the exit door close by.

- Police, ambulance & firefighters start their sirens.

- Above all, KiKi starts going crazy!

It's not only about the wild sounds he starts making, but also the big mess he creates when he goes Crazy!

I sometimes feel like taking him back to the pets store but then when I see how much Mariyah loves him and cares for him, I change my mind right away :)

Waiting............

For this to heal,

and for the poison to leave my system and never come back again,

EVER!

Waiting for the moment I can hug

this beautiful human being.
Waiting for a spring I can spend in Amman,

Waiting for these to bloom,

For baba's broken arm to heal,

And for the day I meet baby Selma, 24 weeks today :)
Ameeen!

Not My Face!

A couple of weeks ago, I was at a gathering when one of the ladies announced that she has become a representative for Avon cosmetics. All the ladies got excited and started asking her questions so she decided to pass a paper for all of us to write down our names and e mail accounts so she could keep us updated with all the offers she gets.

When the paper landed in my hands I told her: "I would be your worst customer, but I can write down my friend's e mail instead, she'll thank me for it".

Then a lady commented: " Seriously Nida'a, You never wear make-up!"

I agree. I don't like make-up, I buy one item/year. If I ever felt like wearing make-up I would use a black eye pencil and sometimes lip gloss.

I never carry make-up in my purse and I don't think I ever will, I hope.

I just don't like spending a lot of time in front of the mirror, not even for simple touches here and there. The whole thing makes me nervous.

My only reason could be that I have far sight, so the closer I am to the mirror the more disturbing it is.

I'm thankful I never had problems with my skin. I make masks every 2 weeks or so, but that's is.

I told the ladies that I only wore mascara 3 times in my life. first time on my engagement party, second time on my wedding and there must be a third time where I have allowed one of my sisters to touch my eyes.

My sisters are different. They don't even like the fact that I like it totally plain. They keep saying that a change every once in a while won't hurt. It might make me feel better sometimes. But I really don't believe in that.

I never did.

I'm glad Jeeej doesn't like make-up too! He always says: "Real is better, real is my favourite".

I remember when I got engaged, my mom got excited thinking that it might make me consider wearing make-up for a change.
She insisted I buy good amount of make-up, I listened to her and bought a nice collection. I threw everything away after my 1st year of marriage.

I don't have a perfect skin or face or whatever, but I really don't enjoy wearing make-up.

What made me write about this today is the fact that poison oak is spreading all over my hands now and it started showing on my face as well.

I feel I look like an alien but Jeeej still insist that I look beautiful.

I know it'll take time to heal and for the itchiness to go away, I'm just scared it will leave scars on my face.
I don't want to be forced to wear make-up once the poison is out of my system.

Please God, ya Allah...NOT my face :(

Miss Independent

I used to choose her food, her meal times, her outfits, her words...
I used to convince her to try something new, I used to distract her by singing to her...
I used to "own" her...
She's my little baby, You know?!
It's all HISTORY now. Her favourite words these days are: NO and BALASH!

Last weekend, Jeeej was busy making one of my big dreams come true, so me and Mariyah had to go to Trader Joe's alone for our weekly grocery shopping.

She was busy playing with her balloon while sitting in the cart. I was busy choosing goods to put in the cart...I made sure I tell her what they're called and I had to watch her too, making sure she doesn't touch or drop any item from the shelves...

She used to scream at the cashiers while watching them removing items from the cart and filling the paper bags,
She would say: "HADA LA MARIYAAAAAH" = "THIS IS FOR MARIYAAAAH"

Not anymore...
These days, she's being helpful, she helps the cashier by handing him little items she can pick from the cart.
She did this last time we went, last weekend. I was happy and proud and praising her and I also thanked her, the cashier did too. They're always super nice at Trader Joe's.
Then I paid, the I left SMILING :)

I put her in her car seat, I was about to start the car when I decided to pick up my glasses from the purse...and in my hand came a pack of "the laughing cow" cheese!!

I was about to cry.

IMAGINE IT WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT, AT A DIFFERENT STORE!

it would have BEEPED!

She is picking her own kind of cheese TOO!

Stop Hurting Me :(

Sometimes I enjoy weekends and sometimes not.
We went to the zoo once, it was great.
We go to the farmers market, it's always fun.
We went to the park and had bbq, it sucked!
we went hiking 10 days ago, it was great! we enjoyed it to the max...it was perfect....

Oh wait!
Maybe not!!

The hike turned out to be the reason behind my visit to the urgent care this morning...
I had no idea where the scratches on my hands and the itchiness came from!
I thought I am scratching myself at night, I cut my nails...
the scratches got worse and more and the pain became unbearable.
I didn't know what to do, It made me cry a lot.
I tried the mixture -starch and rose water- jeeej made for me and still it hurt

Once the doctor saw my hands, she asked:

-Anything different you tried? touched?

My answers were: -NO....NO...

Her last question after several ones:

-Did you recently go hiking?

Yes, 10 days ago :)

- AHA!

This is Poison Oak! You have touched a plant that can be found everywhere in the woods!

- :(

She put on a sad face and said:

- Sorry, you're pregnant! we can't give you meds. This will last for about 2 weeks, more. It might get worse and spread more on your hands, you need to be patient and not itch, it will only make it worse!
We can only give you a lotion to decrease itchiness, that's all.


The only thing I'm happy about is that it's not contagious :)

While typing this now, I thought of this aya,
( وعسى أن تكرهوا شيئا وهو خير لكم وعسى أن تحبوا شيئا وهو شر لكم والله يعلم وأنتم لا تعلمون )
صدق الله العظيم

Muhammad: Legacy of a Prophet

A friend of mine had just posted a link to this documentary on facebook. I'm still watching the 3rd part and I'm enjoying it!

I thought before I go to bed I should leave you the link here.
The documentary is divided into 12 parts, not too long parts.

I'm so impressed and proud :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cR7Ea8T8sTQ

No, We Can Not Lie...

I know I'm not that strong...

I mean, What Was I thinking?

I scheduled an appointment,

I saw my baby on the screen, 2 screens actually,

I say to the technician: "I decided not to know the gender...But I can't help it anymore...

Could you please tell me, am I having a boy or a girl? BUT do not record it,

I'm keeping it a secret from everyone EVEN my husband,

You see, I have a feeling it's a girl..."

The technician tells me what the gender is...

I see Jeeej at night...

And because I'm still too weak,

I tell him what we're having!

And then I ask:

"Can we keep it a secret? and not tell anyone?"

He says: "No, What if someone asks

If we knew yet!

we can't lie"

We are having a girl...

And we're naming HER, Selma!

:) :) :)

B4JO, Seeing Jordan Through Netflix

Once I heard about the Jordanian movie "Abu Raed" I made sure I add it to our queue on Netflix. The movie was shipped to us on March 8th, and we only got the chance to watch it last night.

Before watching it, I had no idea what to write about on such a wonderful day. It's not that I don't miss Jordan...It's just that I'm getting used to living here...building a place to call home away from home isn't easy, but ours is starting to have a shape.

Watching the movie -with subtitles in English for Jeeej this time- made me feel nostalgic. I could smell the tea from the little glass cups. The accent used was so real and the faces were extremely Jordanian.
We didn't like the acting, in general, but the movie brought back some sweet memories nevertheless, especially at the airport! haha

I heard my coming baby's name in the movie, that's when it hit me: I should write about my Love to Jordan and how much I miss it.

We're bringing my kids soon to visit you Jordan,
We'll make sure we take them downtown,
We'll make sure they BOTH eat mansaf, shawerma, knafeh and falafel,
We'll make sure we visit a lot of houses, for friends and family,
We'll make sure they bathe under your sun and they watch your sunset from the main balcony in my parents' house.

Jordan, In my heart forever...I just wish my kids will be able to carry your passport one day, and soon insha'Allah :)

Hiking Harder & Counting!

I enjoy hiking, a lot, but only when I feel light.
The bigger I get the harder it becomes, especially when I have to go up a hill.
So, Imagine how hard it is for me to hike while carrying Mariyah.
I didn't carry her the whole time, of course, because we have baba Jeeej...

It was the first time we don't take a stroller with us, Mariyah walked a lot on the way up. On our way back, she preferred to be carried most of the time.

It's not that I didn't enjoy it and it's not that she's heavy and again it's not that I carried her a lot...but still...It was tiring! My feet still hurt.

When we stopped for the first time to have a snack,

she decided to lay under the sun right on the ground.

We laughed so hard. She's so cute :)

* I grabbed a few dry branches from the ground on my way back and I'm decorating the smallest one for Mariyah's room...

I have to go get it done before I go sleep...I want to surprise her tomorrow morning once she wakes up!

Hear her count to TEN! In Arabic...
I will post the English version soon!

Picking the name

My sister sent me this list of names a few weeks ago, the list has the most popular names in Jordan year 2009. I loved most of the names. We didn't have to pick a name for our baby from this list or any other list.

We had the boy's name chosen before we got pregnant.
But the girl's name was chosen when we were still 2 months pregnant.

The names we chose are found in this list!
Interesting ;)

Not Expresso!

It's ESPRESSO coffee.
I hate it when people insist on calling it Expresso...
and I hate the fact that I feel embarrassed to fix the mistake!

Showing off my girl.

Mariyah BRAVEHEART.

Seeing how Mariyah loves all kinds of animals just like her baba makes me feel happy and proud, sometimes ashamed of my fear of animals.
Whenever we pass by dogs here, big or small, she always gets too close to them and plays with them too, sometimes touches them. I always take pictures of her standing far away from her and zooming in of course :)

Now, that she is learning more about animals, from her books and her brain quest decks,

We decided we should take her to the zoo!

The peacock was free to walk all around the zoo...

She followed him whenever she felt like it.

She stepped on the sheep droppings, with NO FEAR at all!
She grabbed a snake, of course ;)

She fed the goats...

And she brushed their hair :)

Simply,

she had a wonderful day at the zoo on Sunday...

She kept talking about all the animals she saw all Monday long.

To Convert or Not to Convert.

For sometime now we've been talking about this subject over and over again, not being able to decide is really confusing. Now that number two is on the way, both kids will share the same room.
Mariyah still sleeps in her crib, that can be converted into a toddler's bed. I suggested we start training her to sleep on a toddler's bed, next month, eaither by converting her crib or buying her a toddler's bed and keep her crib for baby number 2.

Then I started reading about it online. I read that if a new baby is on the way, there's no need to rush moving the first child into a regular bed. That once the child starts feeling uncomfortable in the crib then it's time to move. So, they say it's OK to buy another crib and have 2 cribs in the same room!
Wouldn't the room look like the sleeping section of a daycare?!

I know for sure that the coming baby will be sleeping in our bedroom for the first 3 months, in a bassinet, unless we used Mariyah's crib.

I really don't know when to start training her to sleep on a bed. She always goes to bed awake, even for her naps, she stays awake for a while talking and signing until she falls asleep. So imagine I put her in her bed awake, she'd be moving all around the room and maybe leave it whenever she wakes up during the night!

I am really confused and I don't know what to do...she's not even 2 years old yet! Too tiny for a regular bed,
Yes?
No?

One other thing,
The mobile on her crib came along with it, it looked cute, 3 little bears going round and round...

Until Mariyah killed two...

I want to remove the last bear and add personalized items instead, handmade of course. I still don't know what to use...

New ones for Mariyah?

Or, new ones for the new baby?