Last Friday, I took my car to the dealership for a check up. An Arab guy who works there came to me and said: Salam Alaikom! I said: Wa Alaikom Assalam...
He: Do you speak Arabic?
Me: Yes!
He: whatever you need here, any kind of help just let me know! I'll be around...
Me: Appreciated!
That was nice of him, I thought...Later on he came back, and started asking me some personal questions, like where are you from? where do you live now? with whom? what do you do? and some other questions...It was all OK for me...Then he started talking about himself...and how he got married to this nice young lady...and about how much he loves her and cares for her...Then he told me that she is not an Arab, but still she is not adapting well in the states...They came here on September last year, after being married for almost 2 years. He's lived here for many years before marriage...but she is giving him hard time now...He told me she is pregnant now and really depressed...then he said: I would do anything to make her happy again...I spend all my free time with her trying to cheer her up. I take her to the mosque with me whenever I can so she can meet girls in the community...I can pay for whatever she wants, I don't care about money!! Nothing is working out...would you please help her?! whenever you have enough time, Just go visit her, or I can drop her by your place...
He kept suggesting stuff we both can do together...and then he started apologizing saying that he never thought he would ask a stranger to do this for his wife...but he is becoming hopeless...he told me she spent 10 days in a psychiatric hospital here once she go pregnant...He said: I have many sisters, many nieces, none of them went through this when they got pregnant!!
I felt really sorry for her...but it was hard for me to promise him anything! He gave me her number, and thanked me deeply...
I called Jeeej right away, and he felt sorry for her and encouraged me to call her later on...He also managed to ask me several times last week whether I called her or not...until yesterday...he was like: Did you call her? Give it a shot! You may win, but would loose nothing...
Later on I was chatting with mama and she said the same thing...
So I called her and her husband was sitting next to her...and I heard him reminding her of me and how he asked for my help...While talking to her, I felt there was something wrong with her...he was helping her giving answers to me...I felt bad...and started to apologize telling her that I've never done this before...I mean calling someone I don't know and asking to meet up someday...but she kept saying: it's OK, it's OK...
Her husband took the phone from her, and asked me if I like fish!! He said: It's my day off today...and I used to be Chef, I cook really well...why don't you come over with your husband, it would be great to meet him too, and so you and my wife can talk or do whatever you want together...
I was like: Nooo...it's OK, I didn't know its your day off today, I don't' want to bother you guys!!
He said: No, at all!! we need this!!
We went...Had a great lunch...
As for me, I've always heard about women with depression...after getting pregnant, or after they give birth, but to be honest, I never dealt with any...When she was showing me her pictures back home and in Amman, I couldn't believe my eyes! She used to look so nice, a very happy 23 years old young lady...full of life...even her pictures here last October in Halloween...I was looking at her and at the pictures and I was shocked!!!
She is so week now, only 2 months pregnant...lost a lot of weight...she barely talks! she only answers the questions asked...she moves slowly...her responds are really slow! Her husband loves her so much, he kept encouraging her to talk...He would say: Tell them about how we met! tell them this! and that...she barely smiles and it takes her a lot of time to tell a story...
It broke my heart...I left after I promised to see her again...we invited them next Thursday for lunch. Later at night...I gave it a thought...what have I done?! Can I deal with this? Can I make a difference? What if I became depressed because of her! I don't want to be depressed...never...Ya Allah protect me from this...and all my beloved ones...
Jeeej kept encouraging me the whole night, saying that anything I do for her, no matter how small it is, is going to make a difference...He said: Just do your best...a couple of hours every week would make a difference! Take her out...go visit her...anything...Allah will help you do what you can...
Depression is bad...I don't know exactly what causes it. how long it takes to get over it! I know nothing about it...but I promised myself to do my best with that poor girl...
